Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Happy Birthday Stimulus Package!

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the stimulus package. I will not say whether the stimulus package was good or bad for this nation. That is for the people working at the History Channel in high X5D in thirty years to decide. What I will say though is there was a better way to go about it. All American citizens that haven't reached the age nor the height to reach the voting booth will agree with me.

So what would have been a better way to invest $819 billion to pump up this economy and get us out of this economic muck? Disney. That's right Disney. The fact of the matter is that Disney knows how to make pocket change and they have mastered it to an art. Sixty-seven percent of Americans say they
are unhappy. Disney is just the anecdote. They know how to create a market and atmosphere that not only brings in people storming to purchase their products, they leave them with a memory that they want to pass on to their grandkids.

Banks are still working on a strategy to match that. I hear they have finally whittled it down to hiring door greeters or distributing checks with smileys on them. Instead of using the bailout package to pay their
employees for vacations to expensive resorts, Disney would start construction on a Peter-Pan-Jungle-Book-themed resort carved into the side of the Application Mountains that would stimulate long-term jobs, money flow and our hearts. If the government would have just handed the keys over to Disney to handle the GM business, we could all be finally driving that Mr. Toad classic mobile we always wanted as a kid.

Would hoodlums even dare thinking about tagging a bridge that had a Swiss Family Robinson theme to it? The thousands of jobs that Disney would create with their "Cinderella Package" would be so magical that there would never be a need to get on facebook during work and complain with other people about their boring jobs -- not while they are out washing windows with Buzz Lightyear jetpacks strapped to their backs.

Wouldn't we all be happy to be stuck in road-construction traffic if all of the workers were dressed up as snow white and the seven dwarfs? Who knows maybe the Obama administration will at best let Disney take over the FBI. I would bet all my laundry money that criminals would go more peacefully if the theme for the feds that day was beauty and the beast.

The fact of the matter is that Disney has proved itself. It has marketing strategies that basically created its own little G-rated-happy-thriving country. If we want a happy bright future, why not just put it in the hands
of Disney?

2 comments:

  1. hahah!!!! I LOVE THIS! :) very very true!

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  2. Well, said, INDEED! I think you ought to write that up and pass it over to Harry; maybe they can use it for the leftover stuff they haven't spent yet.

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