Thursday, December 4, 2014

Tis The Season To Get Jolly

We've had quite a go at things these past 11 months. In the beginning, the beginning of the year that is, the weather was frigid. Everytime we walked outside it was a matter of life and death. If anyone sat out there too long their blood could have easily could have turned into otter pops within minutes. We dashed from our places of abodes, to our vehicles, from our vehicles to the grocery store just to remember that we forgot our wallets.

Yes, those were frustrating and trying times for the most of us. Those in Florida were not exempt. Although they may have faced a warmer climate during that time, they still must fight off the snakes that have overridden that state and fall from the ceiling and onto the dinner table every other day. I actually have gotten word that one snake is actually running for congress next year and with the help of his fellow colleagues he is leading in the polls. We pray for you Florida.

I think the easiest, quickest, most effective thing we could do to curtail this cold problem is to switch countries with India. We would just straight up flip flop with them. We would all pack up and go over there and they would all pack up and come over here. It seems like a simple enough solution. I hope that it will gain ground in the next couple of weeks. Anyways, the point is we survived the cold months of 2014.

Then the sun came up, the plants started to grow and a fog of pollen and hay and grass and weedy things came plummeting towards us. Only the strong-lunged and the stout-nosed could survive such wrath without having to constantly go for the nasal spray. Those who didn't have puffy eyes were considered to be in the upper class. I can't too much more on the matter because most of that time I too had puffy eyes and had a hard time seeing much of anything. To say the least those that are still reading this post survived.

After that, the sun came up a little higher. Things got a little hotter. The pollen and the hay and grass and weedy things were no match for the sun. They couldn't "hang" like they used to way up in the air. We were all relieved. The sun had saved the day. But then, like every soap opera found deep in the high channels of cable television, the sun turned on us when we needed him most. He burned us and turned us into lobsters. It hurt to sleep. It hurt breath.

Everyone cried in pain when they received a pat on the back for doing a good deed.  The heat had literally gotten to us. The one thing we craved and yearned for for months on end was now retaliating against us. Those that could afford SPF 100 were considered the upper class, however there is still on ongoing debate on whether or not blocking all those sun rays was a wise choice for long-term care. Only time will tell what will become of those upper classers.

Soon thereafter, the sun slowly began to fade away once more. The leaves on the tree began to change their colors as the trees mustered with all their might to sap the living day light out of them before another winter came on. We harvested all the food we could before the teenagers could get to them and smash them in the road. Folks were exhausted. Truckloads of pumpkins came down to Florida to meet the high demand but snakes everyone were able to get to them first. That created an even higher demand of pumpkins. The pumpkin harvesters couldn't pick them fast enough. Their fingers were nimble and their spirits were tarred. Many thought that pumpkin harvest would be a quick way to make a few bucks. Instead it turned them into buff, overtime-paid harvesters with no lives on the weekends.

And now finally here we are at the end of the year. We made it! We're still here! We're alive! There are some that still may have snakes falling onto their dinner tables but the point is they have fought off those snakes for an entire year. We have bested many beasts this year and maybe we're a little bloodied up but we ended up coming out on top. Many of us may look like Rocky this time of year after he went 9 rounds in the ring with Apollo Creed. Just remember, even though Rocky had to go to the hospital and get his entire body put into a cast, he ended up having a robot for a server and drove a Lamborgini.

So that's what we have to look forward to now. Metaphorical robot servers and Lamborginis. We've done so much and came so far and now it is time to be Jolly for all of this year's accomplishments. Sure otter pop blood freezing temperatures will return once more but at least we now know to remember to bring our wallets before we go out there in the torrential frigid Arctic ice land. This is one time when we get a full month of joyful and triumphant music ringing in our ears and neighbors who we haven't talked to all year show up at our doorstep with a plate full food we don't recognize or knew even existed.

It's finally time to break out some lights and paste them all over our houses and show the airline pilots that we still exist! We're still out there and we are going to continue to be out no matter how big the pumpkins will be next harvest! Yes it truly is a joyful time. Let us embellish this time and these moments while they are still at our doorstep. In the meantime, make sure to keep an eye on the spot of ground you want way over in India.